Life isnt a Sienfield episode. For many years, my priorities were: (which no one is sure of really) We did less phone calls and then in December it became just a few texts a day. I cant even imagine what kind of schedule or level of mental and emotional investment he is putting in right now. He moved in with his co-workers, settled in the new job , we called and texted eachother a lot. "Is Being 'Too Busy' a Valid Reason to End a Relationship?" I dont know. Which is why Ive been so confused about it all and why its been so hard to understand. But, you know what, life happens and you have to prioritize stuff and maybe it comes down to: I like this person a lot like a lot, a lot but Ive only known her a few months and Im just not invested enough to sacrifice things Ive been working so hard for for much, much longer than Ive known her, in order to create the kind of relationship Id want to have with her the kind of relationship she deserves to have. I can say for sure that, especially in those early months and even now sometimes, if wed been closer and wanted to see each other more often than once a week, Im not sure Id have been able to handle it. We started talking, texting for hours, or just sending stupid memes to eachother. I barely have time for myself, barely have time for my friends. He made me feel very secure. If realizing this guy dumped her because of his schedule and bad timing helps her get over some of those insecurities and/or move on more quickly and have more confidence and self-assurance in her next relationship, I really dont see the harm in it. Tiffany Haddish Reflects on Common Romance, Says Breakup 'Wasn't Mutual' In 2021, the rapper claimed the breakup was mutual and that they were just too busy for a relationship. | John Bachman Work-life balance is an important part of experiencing a healthy work and home environment in which you can thrive. Your email address will not be published. . Here's What a Career Expert Says, How to Create Emotional Boundaries in Your Relationship, Tips to Maintain an Interpersonal Relationship, How to Maintain Work-Life Balance Like a Pro, Tiger ParentingImpact on Children's Mental Health, 'I Don't Need Friends': Why You Might Feel This Way, The Relationship Between ADHD and Procrastination, The Connection Between Decluttering, Cleaning, and Mental Health, How Forgiveness Impacts Mental Health and RelievesStress, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, Conspicuous consumption of time: When busyness and lack of leisure time become a status symbol, If possible, plan a vacation or staycation for yourself (and, Remind yourself that your self-worth does not come from being productive or busy. My roommate introduced him to me in August when we moved in together. The only things I have been stressing about through this process have been the things I shouldnt be stressing about. Although the physical distance is a physical excuse, the real reason is of emotional nature. Dear LW, Clearly you should wait for this man in the hopes that he may return. I'll start that ministry . While being busy may positively impact your self-esteem, if you are so busy that you are unable to practice self-care, spend time with loved ones, and enjoy your free time, being overbooked can actually have a harmful effect on your overall well-being. And then set aside time in the afternoon for busy work like meetings and calls. Sometimes a change of perspective can make a world of difference. 15 Valid Reasons For Breaking Up With Someone - Bustle Around eight months later I found out hed lied about seeing her on our 1-year anniversary (we had dinner planned and he said their meeting was brief). You Talk Too Much: 8 Words for the Wordy. I agree! NEWSMAX Thursday, July 20, 2023 | John Bachman - Facebook Keep putting yourself out there, and if things clear up for him, you may still be free.or you may have found a great guy by then! Your guy seemed very busy but the man I was talking to just moved to a new place, is in a basketball league, has travel dates with friends, and values his family a lot. Agreed. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Required fields are marked *. I actually find it a little frustrating that shes making this about her when it sounds like hes been perfectly honest with her. take that vacation . Read full profile Have you ever said to yourself, "I'm too busy"? Relationships with friends, family, and spouses may suffer because of your overextended schedule. Reading her letter, I read it more as her wondering is it the REAL reason? as in, should she take it as face value or was he just not that into her. "Be as honest as you can without harming the other person. How do you feel about it? I didnt mean to imply that I prioritize my work over my relationships, its just that my job is my way of giving back to the Universe on a larger scale than I could do in my personal life, and being useful is really important to me. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. Granted it happens a lot, and this dude does seem great to not string her along, but it still sucks when youre going through it. I just was saying in this case, speculating on if the reason was valid or just having the confirmation that it was valid imo isnt a damaging thing for this LW. Morning fatigue is one of the surest signs that you are overworked, overstretched, and overscheduled. This happened to me too back in the fall. In the meantime, maybe you should take a few courses in Home Economicscooking, sewing , cleaning, so you can better serve your man, should he choose you to be his wife. Is Writing A Letter A Good Way To Breakup? As he got into the new job, I could tell he was stressed and the stress seemed to be increasing. no drama needed. And yeah, when he would meet someone, no matter the sparks, he wouldnt have the time to date. Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing ineating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change. Focus on one thing at a time. 8 Best Tips To Write A Breakup Letter Along With Examples - Stylecraze The question is what do you want? THATs why we talk so much about the reasons behind breakups here yes, katies right that when its over its over and every reason is a valid one, but I think that its important for people to try to understand why things end, so they can learn from it. LW, Im sorry this happened to you. I believe that this can totally happen without the guy (or the girl) being not that into you. This is so much better!. actually she was probably taking that stat and turning in into a generalization- which isnt ever fair, but- i mean its still true. 10 Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy Life More - Ramsey 8 Signs Your Life Is Too Busy - Ramsey - Ramsey Solutions How can you make dinners or weekends a priority? What makes my heart happy is my relationships. Maybe your inability to deal with their busy schedule was a factor. Years ago I started dating a guy while I was working two part-time jobs and looking for a real job (I had just finished grad school). His job is overwhelming too. Its what she wanted to do with her life. 15 powerful quotes to change the way you think about time and being busy When you're busy, you aren't present. She specializes in relationships, anxiety, trauma and grief. My Girlfriend Said She's Too Busy | The Modern Man Have you broken up with someone that was too busy at date at a - Reddit For a long time, conventional wisdom suggested that we drink 8 glasses of water a day. But I truly feel like if I had met him earlier I would not have been ready and it would maybe have not worked out the same way. I didnt want to be divorced either, so maybe I was subconsciously trying to get back at her. Excessive busyness may impact your physical health by triggering or exacerbating: This episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares how to get tasks done with a science-backed trick known as 'temptation bundling.' And yes, valid was poor wood choice on my part. If you are busy, you may have a lot on your plate, but this doesn't necessarily mean you are productive, or using your time efficiently. They'll fight to fit you into their busy schedule. So youre scrutinizing his reasons to find out if there was something YOU did that caused the relationship to end. Or maybe I need new, less jaded, friends and family . I had a few dates with this super cute guy who was working 5 am until like 7-8 pm daily. The Truth About Being Too Busy | HuffPost Small Business And if it means anything, Im sorry. On the day-to-day things hes a great boyfriend: hes supportive, kind, and funny, and he cooked for me every day while I was studying for some exams. When a man notices his relationship feels more like a game or a constant fight he begins to emotionally and then physically check out. Shut Out By my MOH, Read More My Maid of Honor Keeps Ghosting Me, Read More My Maid of Honor Keeps Ghosting MeContinue. It sucks but thats how it works. Compassionate Eye Foundation / Hero Images / Getty Images. Everyone will have their own idea of what being too busy means to them. Understanding why you lose focus is the first step to fighting distraction. If the dumpee gets broken up with because of distance, the dumper either wants more from the dumpee or from someone else. My husband is awful to me and I dont understand why, Did My Partner Emotionally Cheat On Me?, I Dont Want to Have Sex with My Girlfriend Anymore, Should I Tell My Boyfriend I Kissed Someone While Drunk?, I Want a Baby but My Husband Wants to Wait. I know it blows. -Family. A week later he broke up with me. actually, women continually put grad school and/or new jobs on the back burner for relationships and/or having kids. Fritos are the best. You are probably a victim of 12 or 14-hour workdays. Like Wendy said, timing is a huge factor in relationships. Since this is a 2014 letter, she has either lived her life, or pined for a very long time. I do think we women tend to see ourselves as daughters, friends, mothers, partners, girlfriends etc. LW, for what its worth, 7 months ago I started a new job, moved, and started a new relationship within the same month. He texted me to say hi, and Ive never heard of him since than. So so busy. Just wanted to clear up that there was no pressure to spend any more time together. They will always take precedent over work. Being busy has to do with how you spend your time, where productivity has more to do with what you accomplish. If you guys disagree with me, okay. I thought that even though I wasnt meeting his parents, we could organize so he could meet mine for the first time. She takes her time responding to messages. So theres potential for a guy just to end it or put it on ice rather than feel like hes always disappointing you. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. And when that happens, all the wrong people and all the wrong times it didnt work will be worth it. One of my asks was that he keep me informed of when he was going to meet her. If your work-life balance is thrown off, you may experience burnout, feeling overworked, exhausted, and disconnected from your social and/or family life. Ugh, that really sucks. Im sure it would for many women on DW, and out in the real world, but if were looking at American Society as a whole, Id put money on men placing more importance on their careers than women, and women placing more importance on relationships (romantic or otherwise). Especially when dream jobs are something that is so hard to obtain these days. I think this has been tough because everyone close to me has been suggesting that he met someone else, or that if he liked me, he would have found the time to keep going. 2017;44(1):118138. itll be good once its a spread out decision made by both men and women. i also had to contacted Dr.Mack for help regarding my Marriage issue. It was effortless. He was thinking about moving out of state and it just wasnt going to work. Save Image: Shutterstock Most people will reject the idea with a straight "No." Breaking up over letters is often thought to be rude. REALLY?! Being busy and being productive can often be confused with one another. Sometimes its an excuse, nut im this vase I think hes being sincere. Telling clients how busy you are and how you don't have any time for their requests is a means of winning their business because human nature is to want something we cannot have. Its not like you can call him and say, Listen here, bucko, Ive decided that being too busy is not a valid reason to end this relationship, so pick me up at 8pm on Friday. Honestly, any reason is valid I dumped a guy once because I couldnt handle the fact that he wore sweatpants in public. Such a long-time lurker, but something about your letter prompted me to finally jump in the fray. And now one of my other aunts is organizing a family BBQ in a couple weeks. Things dont go as planned. Does it bother you so much you'd rather be single? If that person really wanted to be with you they would, busy or not. But being a Medical Librarian Who Helps People is a core part of my identity I never think of myself as Mr. LPs fiance, which is what I think Laura Hope was leaning toward. . This thread is really helping me I went through this last night. Whats bad is telling someone if you want a relationship, sit around and wait and keep prioritizing that person who isnt prioritizing you. Get what you what, do what you want. In the entire time we dated we only had one day of no communication. So, my question is: how do I address these no-shows on the off chance that they actually do show up to the BBQ? The thing is, it could totally be about him. When our brains have too much to think about there's too much mental clutter. And then you know you should take a step back and view it from an entirely logical standpoint. -Family If you derive self-worth through being productive and completing tasks, feeling as if you're falling short can impact your perception of yourself. Its been over a week and only now am I able to sleep, eat and be somewhat normal. Jodi Clarke, LPC/MHSP is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice. My top 3 would be Husband, Family, Friends. There is no valid reason to break up with someone because any reason is valid. Its hard to be going through this wedding-planning process when your BEST FRIEND/MOH shuts you out. -School I never initiate dates he completely pursued me even with getting in touch with me. If you prefer to be a sahp, go for it! Its been six weeks now, and neither I nor my parents have heard from them as to why they didnt show. I dont want to make any assumptions about how this LW behaved during the relationship, but I can say from experience that dating someone with a very demanding job who is also taking a full college courseload is not going to be a typical dating experience. She wasnt just sharing a stat, she was taking the stat and using it as advice to the LW. - GirlsAskGuys Relationships Is being too busy an acceptable reason to breakup with someone? LW, I agree with Wendy, especially when she says it sucks until it doesnt. Keep your heart open and hope for better luck next time. Hey yall, LW here. He worked a lot of hours but still put so much effort into making time to talk to me everyday. (Dont be traditional and wait for him to call you.). Do you think the generalization continues to be true as a relationship progresses past the beginning stages? Is there any way to fix this after messing up so horribly? In addition to its connection to feelings of self-worth and status, staying busy may also be a way to avoid or numb out painful feelings and situations. In the begging of March we had a girls night out, I got a bit drunk and I texted him,and wrote that Im lonely and I miss him. It really, really blows, but try not to be bitter or angry at the other person it sounds like this guy handled it the best way he could, under the circumstances. Im coming at this from a different perspective LH said women tend to define themselves and get their self-worth from relationships and men from their jobs, and I view self-worth and defining yourself as different from making something a priority at any given time. I live in Brooklyn with my husband, son and daughter. Just a thought, and also may point to him being a good guy, just bad timing. there is no invalid reason to end a relationship. If its your dream job yeah, go for it. Hes been clear that he wants to end things, so she should move on with her life and not wait for him. Its not for everyone. A close friend of mine (female, not at all religious) went to a prestigious college, got 2 really difficult degrees at once, was excellent at her job, but when she had kids and her husband said hed quit working so she could continue to and they could have a parent at home, she decided she preferred staying home. Ill be happy too when people actually are doing what they would like. The reason was that hes too busy and tired. so is it just a nice way to let you down or was your guy actually busy What ended up happening? He was so great while we were dating, I was hoping he was being truthful, but when people start down the this is shady path, its tough not to listen and doubt. I guess my question is, is being too busy to date ever a valid reason to end a relationship? Later I sent a Happy Easter card in the group chat (my bf, roommate and I). Why Do Men Breakup: 5 Reasons Why! - With My Ex Again i and my husband got into argument and we had a fight, he was cheating i tried to stop him but all to no avail.

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